bel

I stumbled upon style rookie. Turns out she's a fashion blogger who's only 12. Hurray for adults stuck in children's bodies!

So when I was 12, I used to be called 'mature', 'wise beyond her years' etc. Apparently my English essays were pretty insightful, cogent...at times verbose. (Oh, Oxford thesaurus, how I miss you) I wasn't the type of kid to climb trees or go around playing in the mud. I stayed indoors most days and watched TV and ate my poor dial up connection going online to devour fan fiction. During the summer holidays, I would stay awake until six am writing poorly constructed stories of diaphanous elfin characters and their beautiful stories of life and love in a parallel universe. Now I stay awake until six attempting to memorise equations I know I'll only need for a couple of hours in a few weeks.

I remember playing around in the rain one day after school with a couple of friends. We were soaked through and we stuffed our faces with McDonald's after. I got the scolding of my life from my grandfather when I got home, but it was okay. It felt good; I couldn't stop smiling for days. That's probably the happiest feeling I can glean from my mid secondary school years.

I was a reserved child, one who didn't say much. And when I did, it was probably something sensible and well thought-out. I couldn't ever explain Pythagoras' Theorem though. I still can't. I was permanently pissed off because I never made it to the top maths group. I guess that should've been a telltale sign that I should never have done engineering as a major. No point crying over spilled milk, huh.

Anyway, in 2002 I discovered Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. Nu-metal rock or whatever that genre was called (does it still exist??). So began my liberation phase. I remember that LP concert distinctly. I was wearing a tank top (first time EVER, I think. Was and always have been afraid to put my disturbingly large arms on display) and some really baggy cargo pants which were ALLL the rage back then. I remember headbanging and acting like a crazy bitch and freaking quite a lot of people out, as I am wont to do these days. It was pretty awesome. The next day, everything went back to the status quo. I was my usual self: I studied, I sat my exams, I scored straight A's lalala. Not that I'm not grateful for it. I'm a lucky girl, I know I am, so put aside your judgmental glasses for awhile kthx.

And then when I came here, I really started to grow younger. I'm rediscovering my lost youth. Painting the town red, blue, green, purple. I never painted towns any damn colour. It's been fun, really. I'm not the same person I was when I left GIS for this country. I'm probably not the same person I was yesterday, or the day before. Humans weren't meant to remain static; we're 66.6% fluid and hence fluid we should be.

But I know I'll always carry that cargo-pants-wearing-all-black-shirted kid with me. She's not that bad. Really.