Fat Shfat

April 24, 2009 | Published in | 3 comments

So I've been sitting on my fucking ass all day attempting to study. That's how it's been for the past 4 weeks or so. Last night I was feeling particularly bored and in a really random moment of truth, I bent down to look under the table for my murderous Birks when suddenly I felt a tremulous jiggle of waves undulating across my stomach. Wtf.

Earthquake ah?

Holy shit FAT FAT FAT.
*scarfs another jelly bean or 28*

In all my 20 years, I've never been able to get over my - what the media these days is calling - "curves". No girl I've met is completely happy with her body. I've got friends who only eat a meal a day, friends who weigh their food, friends who gym compulsively six times a week, friends who go on the weirdest and dumbest diets etc etc

..No, none of these "friends" are me!

Curves seem to be in the in-thing these days. The media is done and fed up with Kate Moss's anorexic drugged out look. They're putting people like Beth Ditto on the front cover of magazines.

OK I'm all for curves and being whatever you want look like, but for the record, it cannot be healthy to look like Beth Ditto, regardless of what anyone says about her ability to break down the perceived image of what women should/could look like. GOOD for you, woman, that you are big and beautiful but in reality let me tell you it's not healthy to be a size 22! Artherosclerosis, liver failure, diabetes, kidney stones, hyperglycaemia much??

I really like her tats though.

Anyhoo.

There is not one person I've met in my family, extended and immediate, who might be called "thin". That's not to say we're all grotesquely obese either. In fact, we're all pretty healthy. Every member in my family - 80-year-old grandfather and 72-year-old grandmother included - is a member of Fitness First, Cheras Leisure Mall. The real fatty in the house is probably the fourteen-year-old dog Snowy who resembles a medium sized sheep with really loose skin.

By all means, I really shouldn't be my size given all the exercise I do (well, not now - exam season doesn't count as a very fit period in one's life). Ideally, I should be one size smaller. Having said that, my father should be a rail thin man as well. He's done an Ironman (1.5km swim, 180km cycle, 42km run consecutively) every year for as long as I can remember and has also run 40km a day in the Sahara desert for 7 days straight. But he certainly doesn't look the stereotypical lean machine athlete you see at the gym pumping iron. (Yeah, insanity does sort of run in the family). Pfft. Genes.

Or we could blame the bane and reason of everyone's existence:

FOOD.

I can't and won't ever shut my trap unless I'm that depressed. My family won't ever shut their traps unless there's a worldwide famine. Food is by far the best thing to ever happen to anyone!! Do we not look forward to lunches and dinners (I gave up waking up early to eat breakfast), whether it be for the company or simply just to fill your growling stomach? I will always eat more than I have to. I admit, I tend to gorge myself sometimes when I'm uber hungry and feel really bad after, but I get over it by working extra hard at the gym the next day. Aiya...if eating what I like means more "curves" and "thunder thighs" then so be it.

Anyway, I know I can do one thing skinny people can't - strangle rapists with my fat thighs.

3 Responses

  1. Aimi says:
    25 April 2009 at 14:28

    LOOOL @ your last comment! Cannot imagine how you'd be skillful enough to get your thighs around his head fast enough in the middle of being attacked :p

    seriously what is the obsession with being thin? i think curves are lovely. well beth ditto size is a bit extreme, but it really confuses me why people are unhappy being a size 12.

    it's come to a point that i find rake-thin girls to be very unsexy. i think some guys think that way too. not enough to love ;)

  2. shobana s. says:
    25 April 2009 at 21:28

    lol bel!!
    i like your little closing statement too :)

  3. Annabel T says:
    26 April 2009 at 14:16

    eh, i'm pretty skillful aimi ;P

    i dunno what the obsession is with being thin. i know i'm not fat lar but i'm not skinny either! i think i'm really gng thru a bunch of Fat Days because i'm sitting on my bum all day =p good luck for exams!x

    shobie hehe